A Post with Two Parts

Part One:

It is easy to take the wonderful people who surround you for granted.  The people who love you and nurture your soul in a variety of ways...the people you see on a daily basis...the people you see at 8:50 when the bell rings or 4:30 when you pick up your daughter or 6:30 when you sit down to dinner.  It isn't until you have to say goodbye - that moment when you know you won't see them for awhile - that their importance hits you like a ton of bricks.  It is at that moment when the many roles they fulfill in your life become crystal clear.

I had to say some goodbyes today.  Hopefully not "forever goodbyes", more like "see you laters"...but goodbyes nonetheless.  It was hard.  I prepped myself all week.  I thought about it purposefully because I didn't want it to sneak up on me and to feel unprepared for the weight of it all.  I couldn't eat today.  I couldn't stomach it knowing these goodbyes were happening.

My heart raced as I pulled into my school parking lot.  My hands shook as I parked the car.  I had Zoey and Kaia with me, so I was hoping that would help me stay pulled together...I don't think it helped!  I was teary the moment my principal started talking.  I sat in the back - looking around at all of the people that I once saw on a daily basis who I was here to say goodbye to.  Some are merely smiles in the hallway, as our paths didn't cross all that often.  Some know me better than I know myself sometimes.  And many I have laughed with, shared stories with, sat at a lunch table with, celebrated with, griped with, and hugged many many times over the last ten years.  Sadly, I probably took them for granted much too frequently.  They nurtured my soul everyday and became my 8:50-4:00 family.  And I wanted them to know how special they are to me.

So I tried to tell them.  When the floodgates are being pressured to open, its hard to give an eloquent speech.  Its hard to get your point across because, really, the tears say it all.  Tears, laughter, even just a sigh...those often speak louder than words.  I hope my tears were heard loud and clear.

To you, today's goodbyes, I will miss you.  You are important to me.  You have taught me to be better and you have made "my job" enjoyable.  You are wonderful people and you have helped shaped me into the teacher, friend, and mom I am today.  Thank you.

Part Two:

There are moments every day...every week...or every month that I truly savor.  Those "touch you to the core" moments.  The ones you don't want to forget.  I am lucky to have had three such moments in the past 3 days and I want to share...

Moment 1:  Its the middle of the night.  I'm tired.  Kaia still isn't sleeping.  She's yelling - not necessarily to be mad, just to be loud and to be heard.  I decide to "break all the rules" and pick her up - it just feels right.  I pick her up and instantly she stops crying.  Of course!  It reinforces that she's just looking for some cuddle-time...perhaps tough love should have won, but not tonight.  I sit in the rocking chair with her and in minutes, her eyes start those loooong blinks.  She's fighting the sleep that desperately wants to take over.  And it does.  Her eyes close and her body, literally, gets heavier.  That heavy feeling is Moment #1.  Her heaviness against me is like a Mom Dream.  It is peaceful and fulfilling and sweet.  It bears the weight of true love and is absolutely perfect.  I hold her longer than maybe I should - it is 3:00 am after all and I'm tired! - but I savor it.

Moment 2:  Its lunch time.  The girls and I have been out running errands all morning, its approaching nap time, and we're hungry.  Instead of heading home for the usual "snack plate", I decide to make it a Lunch Date Day.  We grab a booth at a local restaurant and I'm acutely aware that this is going to go either really well or...not.  I order quickly.  I prep a bottle and give Zoey the individual jellies to stack.  And despite hunger and tiredness, everyone is calm.  But "The Moment"?  It comes half a grilled cheese and mound of french fries later when Zoey, out of the blue, suddenly takes Big Sisterly notice of her Baby Sister.  She slips out of the booth, walks to our side, picks up a toy and starts making Kaia laugh.  A full on belly laugh.  Zoey doesn't pay Kaia much attention yet, but at this moment, they were in their own world.  Oh, and how it made Zoey happy!  I saw amazing Sisterly futures for them at that very moment...

Moment 3:  Its been a long week and its only Wednesday.  Emotions are already running high as our first trip to Italy is right around the corner and a package shows up on our doorstep.  I know its a 'Savor It" moment when I see its from Danielle.  Leave it to her...always perfect timing.  The tears started before I finished the first line of the card.  Ohhh...this was truly a moment to be savored.  I worked my way slowly through the package - the little boxes, the notes, the phrases that made me laugh - all the while with tears streaming down my face.  I touched each piece as if it my fingers were savoring the moment, too...I read slowly...I unwrapped and always smiled.  Danielle, my heart says thank you.

And so, three moments to savor.  Tomorrow starts another chapter...