The Expat Life I Know

I am an expat living in Italy.  But, one thing I've learned during this experience is that the members of the expat community all live it differently...

I do not know life as a single or newlywed expat.  I have been married for eight years.  

I do not know life as an expat with no children.  I have three.

I do not know life as an expat who works outside the home.  I pressed pause on my teaching career and now stay at home.

I do not know life as an expat whose children are all old enough to go school...which leaves kid-free time to explore and "lunch" and grocery shop without a lot of extra baggage.  My oldest is in kindergarten, but my two-and-a-half year old and one-year old daughters are home with me everyday.

I do not know life as an expat who has a live-in nanny.  We don't have one.

I do not know life as an expat who travels every weekend.  We travel when we can, but it's definitely not excessive...comparatively. 

I do not know life as an expat that has visited every ranked bar, restaurant, cafe, or tourist attraction that made it on TripAdvisor's must-see list.  I'm a stranger to Torino...and my three favorite places are probably strangers to TripAdvisor.

But what DO I know?

I know a life that includes new, best friends.  The type of friends who feel like family and have lives that intertwine with yours in the most incredible ways.  I know good friends.  No.  I know great friends.

I know a life that has stretched comfort zones, shattered boundaries, and pushed the limits in ways never imagined.  A life that has moved me away from every comfort I've ever relied on.  

I know a life that had more down days than up in the beginning, but now runs at a high frequency with those "I miss home" moments scattered only every now and again.

I know a life that has created new routines and family "traditions" that will hopefully follow us home.  Cafe' mornings simply must continue.

I know a life where English is the second (and sometimes non-existent) language.  So making phone calls, scheduling appointments, spending time in hospitals having a baby or having your toddler examined, trying to navigate post offices, pay bills, or get residency cards and all the other things where verbal communication is important is hard.  Damn hard.

I know a life where one of your children has a birth certificate from a foreign country and her birth story is not at all similar to the other two you were a part of.  And that birth story includes tears as you saw other "new moms" surrounded by family and friends and you sat alone.  But yet, I wouldn't have it any other way...because...

I know a life that has taught you a lesson or two in doing hard things.  In being brave.  In being proud of yourself.

I know a life where your husband leaves you in awe with his recent accomplishments and your children continue to impress you with the willingness to adapt.  And your kids teach you lessons on being flexible, going with the flow, accepting change, and putting yourself "out there" on a daily basis.

I know a life of wearing one baby and pushing a toddler in a stroller down cobblestone sidewalks that are barely wide enough for a person, let along a stroller of any sort.  A life of old Italian women picking your toddler up at a cafe so that she can reach the cash register to pay for the cappuccino and brioche.  A life of the elderly constantly oohing and ahhing over your three kids -- in amazement that you have three kids five years old and under -- and showering them with head pats, feet tickles, and kisses on the cheek.  A life of being scorned by these same well-intentioned old women for not dressing your children warm enough when its 55 degrees out.  A life of lugging double strollers and pack-and-plays and baby carriers and diaper bags (in addition to the three little ones!) through airports and onto planes...

I know a life of passports and successful airplane adventures.  And some not-so-successful ones that involve tears, and screaming, and throw up.

I know a life of learning a new perspective.

I know a life of falling more in love with my family than ever before.

I know a life of discovering a stronger me.

I know life as an expat.  I know MY life as an expat.  And I did it my way.