Baby Ella

Eight weeks ago, our long awaited Baby Girl arrived...completing our family in a way we never anticipated.  But let's back up for just a second...

As most people know, our third child wasn't quite planned.  Undecided about whether or not we would continue to grow our family, that decision was made for us and, thus, we didn't have to worry about making that choice!  Yes, at first we were nervous.  Not because we would have three children - that fact thrilled us!  It was because our third child would be born 4,000 miles away from everything familiar and comfortable.  Everything that made Michigan our home.  I worried about everything related to this baby...prenatal care, doctor's visits, the Italian hospital, not having our "village" nearby to physically share their love and support, and all the "what ifs" associated with pregnancy and having a baby.  Of course magnified by the fact that this would all be happening in foreign territory.

Fast forward a bit...

I found a doctor -- who spoke enough English for us to get through the standard check ups.  We toured the Chieri hospital -- not nearly as pleasing to the eye as our hospital at home, but not as drastically different as I imagined.  I became a master at going a million different places - most that spoke no English - for the variety of tests a pregnant woman undergoes. My belly grew.  Our excitement grew.  My tension about the actual delivery and this delivery happening in Italy grew.  And the challenges of being very pregnant with two young kids at home with no real family nearby to rely on grew and grew and grew.

And then she decided she was ready to meet the world.

Five days before my due date, I was driving Zoey, her best buddy Kaitlyn, and Kaia from school to a birthday party at a "bounce house" type place.  During the 20 minute dive, I felt something.  Lower abdomen, lower back.  About eight minutes later, I felt it again.  And again and again about every seven or eight minutes.  When we arrived at the party, my two closest friends here, Jessica and Hatti, could tell something was going on.  "I might be having contractions," I said fairly simply.  In my mind, I wasn't sure if it was real.  In my heart, I knew I was in labor.  So, we sat and made phone calls and planned how this was going to go.  I must have subconsciously known that March 12th was going to be the day because I brought packed overnight bags for Zoey and Kaia with me to the birthday party...you know, just in case.  Good thinking, Mama!

Many moms hugged me as I left the birthday party...whispering in my ear all the things a woman going into labor needs to hear.  My eyes welled up as I realized the moment we had been worrying about for so long was right around the corner.  I instantly missed my mom and my sister...the family that would sit at the hospital and just wait...the family and friends that would visit after the birth and ooh and ahh over the little baby that had just been born.  But, I knew I had the support of a group of mom's who let me know "Hey, you can do this" and "We'll be thinking about you" and "Let us know if you need anything".  And those lower abdomen and back pains?  They kept coming...now every five or six minutes.  "You need to go," my friends coaxed.

I drove home -- Kevin just a few minutes behind me coming from work.  I called my mom and Shannon.  I got my bags, I talked to our translator, I changed into my "HOME" t-shirt, I texted friends, and I sat for a few minutes - just letting it all sink in.

Baby Girl, we love you just as much as we love Zoey and Kaia, but you have to know that your name was tricky for us and we really didn't make that final decision until minutes before you were born.  And now it feels perfect.

We got to the hospital, took the elevator while discussing and debating her name, checked in, and started the "Here we go, I'm delivering a baby in Italy" process.  Only dilated one centimeter, but contractions coming regularly every five minutes and fairly quickly getting stronger and stronger.  We were shown to our room and were left to fend for ourselves!  Do I change my clothes?  Do I sit in bed?  Is a nurse coming to check on me?  Kevin and I wondered many questions, but we pushed the anxiety over not having answers to the back burner and just did what we knew to do.  I put on the hospital gown from home.  And we walked the halls...one short loop where I could peek into other rooms and see new moms holding little babies, families gathered, flowers and balloons decorating the very bare-bones rooms.

Only dilated to two centimeters, I decided to go ahead and have an epidural and I remember the doctor on staff saying "This is your third baby.  I think by the time you get to five or six centimeters, you're going to go pretty quickly."  And that I did.

Epidural complete (a process that involved me, a nurse, an anesthethiologist, digging through some supplies to find what was needed, and getting up and down from beds to wheelchairs while being in quite a bit of pain).  Back in our room.  Instructions to "Push this button if you feel like something is happening" given.  Five minutes pass.  "Kevin, I need to be checked.  Something's happening."  Midwife checks.  Five centimeters.  Decision made to move to labor and delivery room.  Seconds later water breaks.  "I need to push!  She's coming!"  Midwife checks again.  "Ten centimeters!  She IS coming!  Go ahead and push!"

And then, controlled chaos.  Midwives and nurses racing around.  Me pushing and feeling every ounce of pain.  Kevin trying to stay near me to hold my hand while nurses work around him to move me to the delivery room.  Baby Girl, it hurt.  And you were coming fast.

So, here's my "how my baby entered the world scene":

Hospital bed being quickly rolled down the hall while I'm pushing.
Kevin being squeezed and rammed through doorways because I'm determined not to let go of his hand even though he and the bed can not fit through the door at the same time.
Pausing in front of the elevators while the nurses fumble to get the labor room door open.
Hospital visitors gathered in the common area of the elevators witnessing a Mama very close to having a baby and in immense pain.
Me honestly thinking "I'm going to have my baby in the hallway with these people watching!"
Door opens.  Bed is pushed through.  Sheet is whipped off.  My mind and body panic.  Midwife says, "Look at me. In two pushes, you are having this baby".  One contraction later, our sweet girl enters the world and she is immediately placed on my chest.  Done.  At home, the nurses during Zoey and Kaia's delivery asked right away what the baby's name was and said "Happy Birthday ___".  I looked at Kevin..."Ella Renee?"..."Yes"..."Happy Birthday, Ella Renee" I whispered.

I remember Kevin saying, "She's perfect".  I remember feeling like I was watching a National Geographic birthing special because I saw much more of the delivery than I think I ever wanted to.  I remember asking everyone who could hear me "Is she ok?".  I remember an instant love that I had felt so differently the other two times I had given birth.  I remember the love feeling so private, so much "just ours", so big to make up for the lack of love that was waiting in the waiting room.  And I remember this love feeling so right.

Ella Renee, we didn't know if our family would have three children...three daughters...three pieces of my heart out for the world to see.  But, in fact, we needed you.  You fit into our family as perfectly as if we had orchestrated every detail of your being ourselves.  You are meant to be.  And you are loved so big and so deeply that I can't imagine my world without you in it.